Friday, August 13, 2010

Welcome to Kitchen Witchery 101!

After countless, and sadly fruitless searches, about what it is to be a Kitchen (Hearth) Witch, I got off my booty and decided to make an easy to follow and understand, highly informative blog on the subject. We're just going to kick this blog off with a run down of some specific things.

Things like that utterly useless Rede or Three Fold Law. I figured it was best to address this first, since I'm sick to death of you namby pamby wussy witches clucking about bad karma and other related bullshit. *insert dramatic eye roll here*

First off: The Rede/ Three Fold Law is a relatively new occurrence. Those witches in our collective past had no such thing. Magic (notice I DID NOT put that stupid ass "k" at the end?) was neither black nor white, or even shades of gray. It was studied, utilized, and correctly applied. Much like cooking. Hint hint.

One cannot just run around cawing curses and flinging hexes without proper knowledge of how things work. Karma most certainly is not a living, thinking entity. But rather a collection of energy which can be tapped into and directed. Meaning: If you do something "bad", you're not automatically getting reamed by negativity. If you feel guilty about it, you bring about your own bad Karma by unintentionally tapping into that reservoir of energy and directing it (once again unintentionally) right back at you. Same with positive energy. You don't automatically collect good Karma by doing good things. It's that unintentional thought or feel good emotions that again tap into and direct that energy.

In a nutshell: Don't feel bad about cursing someone. If they deserved it, well, sucks to be them. But more power to you for NOT being someone's bitch. Don't worry about "karma biting you in the ass". If you're aware of the energy, and know how to work with it, you're perfectly peachy. So the next time some "white light witch" decides to act the part of the snotty, holier-than-thou asshat, you just smile sweetly and curse their ass to oblivion. Safe in the knowledge that Karma will most certainly not come back Three Fold to you. At least unless you feel guilty about it.

So now that we covered a basic, but needed to be understood aspect of Witchery, we can proceed with what it means to be a Kitchen Witch.

So without further waiting: A Kitchen Witch by definition is a Witch who uses practical magic centering on the home, family and hearth.

But it is so very much more. You can't just cook and call it Kitchen Witchery. To be a "true" Kitchen Witch, you need to think magically. Plant your own herb garden for spell crafting, plant tomatos outside of your home and a few of the resulting fruits from the plants in windows to keep negativity and bad spirits away. Keep a potted Basil plant in the Kitchen. Not only for easy herb access when cooking, but because Basil brings good luck to homes. Keep an Aloe plant in the kichen as well, for protection against evil influences, household accidents, and quick treatment for the cooking burns you'll most likely recieve while learning the Art. The list could go on and on. But it won't. Not for this installment at least! I'll be addressing the use of menstrual blood in cooking with my next update. Try not to eat anything...saucy while reading the next update.

See you soon!

2 comments:

  1. I love this blog!! Please keep writing! What a gutsy style, very earthy, I want to learn more from you!! I feel like I've been an unconscious kitchen witch all my life!! I feel found :) xx

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  2. "since I'm sick to death of you namby pamby wussy witches clucking about bad karma and other related bullshit."

    Wow, so basically your blog about being Wicca goes against the very foundation of wicca, which is if it harms none, do what you will. If you don't want to bide by the Rede or three fold rule then fine. If someone else feels it works for them then I'm trying to figure out how resorting to name calling is appropriate? The very beginning of your blog is to hurl insults at other witches because you think what they believe is stupid? Being Wiccan means to practise your faith the way it works for you and let others be, regardless of their religion. I've only been on a path to being Wiccan for a week and already I know this. You seem like a very angry person, so obviously this religion isn't working for you.

    "Don't feel bad about cursing someone. If they deserved it, well, sucks to be them." <-- I think the whole point in not cursing someone is because "deserving it" is subjective. What you can take as a slight might be nothing more than someone else living their life in a way you might not be happy about. If a boyfriend breaks up with me because he met someone else doesn't give me a reason to curse him. Someone calling me a bitch at the checkout line doesn't give me a reason to curse them. Cursing someone isn't about sending them bad energies so something bad happens to them in return, it's about bringing that negative energy into yourself when you should be releasing it and moving on. Cursing someone shows how simple minded and self-absorbed you are.

    Your blog has completely turned me off.

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